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Is
marriage really necessary? Or, let me put the question this way: Is a WEDDING
really necessary?
Recently a lot of my
acquaintances are getting married, and everybody knows that it's always a fuss
(or a mess?) when you want to arrange a wedding, especially when it's a Chinese
wedding. Discussion and negotiation about the dowry, betrothal, the restaurant,
guests, even the gowns and accessories and wedding cakes can bring about
numerous fights and bad feelings between the brides and
grooms.
My sister is one of the
many girls expecting a wedding on the coming Sunday, and I'm lucky enough to get
involved -- not too involved, but still too much for me--in the preparation.
Well, her case is a bit extreme. Who else has started preparing a wedding 3 YEARS
ago and finally sees it now?! Still, even with so much time there are
unhappy surprises and disputes and tears. Perhaps my comment is not so fair, but
do we really need a wedding that takes MONTHS to arrange but only lasts only a
couple of HOURS?
Think about it: you spend
a week or
so, sometimes longer but usually no more than a month, to
arrange a trip. Then you go off and have fun for 5-10 days. I think everybody
would think the time and effort are worthwhile. But a wedding? You spend at
least 6 months on the coordination and operation thing, then you get yourself
completely exhausted on the wedding day. For what? It's not like you find
yourself a mate for the rest of your
life--as we all know, nowadays divorces are so common that in fact fewer and
fewer people believe in marriage. And if your relationship is strong enough and
your love for each other will not change, you can be together anyway. You can
live together and have kids, and no one will feel uncomfortable with
that.
What's more, if you
really wanted to get married, with the modified law, you can just do it without
holding a wedding! After all there are indeed a lot of advantages that a lawful
marriage can have (less expenses, less tax, better welfare and more subsidy,
etc). So why bother waste your time holding a wedding that actually means
nothing?
Oops, sorry, perhaps I
forgot something...for most girls, a lovely wedding is their dream. Seems like
they think if Prince Charming is not realistic, at least a dreamy wedding can happen. And if you guys
want to tie up your Snow White, of course you have to humor her little dream
(Just look at Maria Carey! Her husband is going to hold a wedding every year to
please her!) Also, we have to take the feelings of our parents into
consideration. Most of them wouldn't like to see their grandchildren running
around as "bastards", right?
So, I guess in many cases, a WEDDING is indeed necessary, and it
even weighs more than marriage itself sometimes.
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